I wish there was some way I could reach out. Feel something I don't know about yet. Let my body, mind, and consciousness be overrun by it now. Be defined by it, and know nothing else. Be reshaped by it and never come back. Be it, and save it as a place I can wander when I'm cold. A place to wander when I'm shattered. A place to run when my face has melted into my hands.
I want to stand in heaven and look back at myself and see my suffering as perfect. See it as a good feeling. Feel the leeches infest my skin, feel the roaches crawl up my legs and let them dig. Let them dig.
Let the viewers of this blog see the writer as insane but looking for something. Looking for something they've lost too. As if something can be disconnected from us. As if something can infest our body and take it over without our wanting of it. With this expectation that leaves us with nothing to drink but the hard dry air.
Cracked throat, and cold skin here I'm crawling there to look back at where I've been.
Helping myself, Lose myself, love myself, Whatever I am
To live and breathe and climb out of this fuckin whole once again.
Change now, Change now Goddamnit.
I don't even listen. I can't see, or feel. What does it even mean to me?
What am I stirring up? What have I put my hands into?
It must be safe, I've just never been.
I must allow myself to put myself somewhere new.
That's all I am and all I can be... Who I am.... Whoever that is.
Aura
This is energy coming from out of my fingers. It is the blur around my fingers and it can be manipulated at will. The more you practice, the more energy you have and the better you are at controlling it. (right click to see it closely)
you, my good sir, are an idiot. pathetic really. i bet you think you are quite the philisophical being and i feel sorry for you. go get a fucking hobby. and if i'v caused a feeling of negativity during this comment, then i laugh in your face. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. why do i laugh? i laugh because if i caused to a feeling of perhaps anger, then almost everything in your brilliant blog is a waste of time. i mean, i could see where you'r coming from, but honestly, you'r just spending too much of your time doing essentially nothing. and you'r taking it all way too overboard. yes, not just overboard, TOO overboard. hahahahahahahaha i suppose you also think you are a very mature individual. do you ever think that maybe even just thinking that, means your really immature. actually, you do seem somewhat like a toddler.
ReplyDeletehow you respond to this reflects a tremendous amount of how you are.
i pity you.
p.s. seriously though, get an actual hobby. a sport, music, collecting crap, whatever. it'll do you good.
I have lots of hobbies, and this is where I post my thoughts, if your interpretation of my writing is what you've written here, then it doesn't much matter to me that you think I've gone over board. My thoughts do include things that you might not want to read, and I'm sorry if reading my blog has taken up too much of your precious time.
ReplyDeleteI am a little hurt for being called an idiot but its ok because as I've said pain is a sign of healing, and I thank you for this opportunity. I am a toddler, I am born again and again with every second I create the world I live in. It's a metaphor, I'm actually 5 foot 7 and have quite a nice build, thank you =).
Actually your response has given me some confidence, but a little frustration because I doubt you will come back to read my response. If you do, please understand that there are no hard feelings, and I hope that you can more clearly describe to me what it was that you were upset about in my blog.
Thank you anonymous, and have a wonderful life. =)